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Why do I attract narcissists?

Updated: Nov 22, 2022

Do narcissists seem to be able to spot you from a mile away?


Do you always seem to pick the wrong partner?


Do you feel like you have an invisible bullseye on your heart?


Why are we such magnets to such toxic people?


Like moths to a bright light….empathic people, like you and me,

attract parasitic people by the dozens because

we have what they need….energy.


It’s all about energy.


Imagine yourself as a gorgeous lamp.

You have a 1000 watt bulb, beautiful shade and

are securely plugged into an outlet.


You illuminate the whole room even on your lowest setting!


But what happens to your light if your shade has holes in it?


Your beautiful light spills out all willy nilly

into places you don’t necessarily want it to.

Like a bucket with a hole in the bottom

leaking water everywhere it goes.


The lampshade is our energy field

and the holes are a result of unhealed past trauma and abuse.



Holes in our energy field are like sweet ambrosia to narcissists.


We literally leak life sustaining energy

and they come to lap it up like dogs.


I know what you are thinking…but a narcissist is a lamp too.

And you are absolutely right, they are.


However, there is one HUGE difference…

they are not plugged into an outlet.


Remember, it’s all about energy.


A narcissist chose, on a soul level,

to experience separation from God/Source/Universe.



They chose to disconnect from their source of power.


Living in separation is incredibly painful and we, as empathetic people,

naturally sense this and want to help them.


But here’s the thing….


One) We are NOT responsible for the choices of others.


Two) We canNOT fix them.


We cannot plug them back into their power source,

and neither can they.


Remember, they chose this experience on a soul level.


When we are in a relationship with a toxic person,

the ONLY thing we can ever give them,

is our own life sustaining energy….

and they will take every last drop.


As brilliant lights in a world full of moths….

we will always be targeted by toxic people.


But there are things we can do to protect ourselves.


We can mend the holes and tears in our energy field

so that we aren’t oozing sweet narcissist nectar everywhere we go!


We can heal our past traumas.


We can learn how to create healthy boundaries.


We can learn to trust our bodies and our own inner guidance again.


We can learn to love, admire and respect ourselves,

reclaiming our power and remembering who we truly are.


We can break cycles of abuse and heal toxic family patterns.


Our past does not have to dictate our present and our future…..

It's up to us to change.


It’s up to us to learn to nurture ourselves.


To become our own best friends.


To nurture the little person inside of us

who holds the keys to our happiness, our joy and our future.


Until next time, be gentle with yourself…


And remember,

you are so much more than you have allowed yourself to believe.


Do narcissists seem to be able to spot you from a mile away?


Do you always seem to pick the wrong partner?


Do you feel like you have an invisible bullseye on your heart?


Why are we such magnets to such toxic people?


Like moths to a bright light….empathic people, like you and me,

attract parasitic people by the dozens because

we have what they need….energy.


It’s all about energy.


Imagine yourself as a gorgeous lamp.

You have a 1000 watt bulb, beautiful shade and

are securely plugged into an outlet.


You illuminate the whole room even on your lowest setting!


But what happens to your light if your shade has holes in it?


Your beautiful light spills out all willy nilly

into places you don’t necessarily want it to.

Like a bucket with a hole in the bottom

leaking water everywhere it goes.


The lampshade is our energy field

and the holes are a result of unhealed past trauma and abuse.



Holes in our energy field are like sweet ambrosia to narcissists.


We literally leak life sustaining energy

and they come to lap it up like dogs.


I know what you are thinking…but a narcissist is a lamp too.

And you are absolutely right, they are.


However, there is one HUGE difference…

they are not plugged into an outlet.


Remember, it’s all about energy.


A narcissist chose, on a soul level,

to experience separation from God/Source/Universe.



They chose to disconnect from their source of power.


Living in separation is incredibly painful and we, as empathetic people,

naturally sense this and want to help them.


But here’s the thing….


One) We are NOT responsible for the choices of others.


Two) We canNOT fix them.


We cannot plug them back into their power source,

and neither can they.


Remember, they chose this experience on a soul level.


When we are in a relationship with a toxic person,

the ONLY thing we can ever give them,

is our own life sustaining energy….

and they will take every last drop.


As brilliant lights in a world full of moths….

we will always be targeted by toxic people.


But there are things we can do to protect ourselves.


We can mend the holes and tears in our energy field

so that we aren’t oozing sweet narcissist nectar everywhere we go!


We can heal our past traumas.


We can learn how to create healthy boundaries.


We can learn to trust our bodies and our own inner guidance again.


We can learn to love, admire and respect ourselves,

reclaiming our power and remembering who we truly are.


We can break cycles of abuse and heal toxic family patterns.


Our past does not have to dictate our present and our future…..

It's up to us to change.


It’s up to us to learn to nurture ourselves.


To become our own best friends.


To nurture the little person inside of us

who holds the keys to our happiness, our joy and our future.


Until next time, be gentle with yourself…


And remember,

you are so much more than you have allowed yourself to believe.




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