The quickest and most effective way to deal with a narcissist
is to put a giant X on them and then go anywhere they are NOT!
This can seem drastic but ask yourself this…which is worse?
Cutting them out of your life?
Or allowing them to drain your energy?
Energy equals life.
Do you really want to sacrifice your precious life for theirs?
No?
Well, good!
As empathic people our biggest super power is also our achilles heel.
A narcissist's main game is playing the victim card…and as heart centered people who know how painful it is to be victimized…we are easily lured into trying to help them.
Remember where our attention goes….our energy flows.
All eyes on a narcissist equals all energy to a narcissist.
Imagine you see a person drowning in quicksand…your first empathic reaction is to jump in and save them.
However by jumping in, now instead of one person drowning, there are two.
To save someone from quicksand we give them a strong sturdy branch
so that they can save themselves by easing their way back to solid ground.
The best way to offer a strong sturdy branch to someone who is abusive
is to give them space.
When someone tries to suck us into their drama, chaos, their woe woe’s me story…they are reallying saying
“Hey! I am hurting right now and I need space to deal with it.”
Give them that space!
You’ll know you are helping when they get louder and more agitated.
Remember what they want….our attention, our energy.
We aren’t responsible for saving anybody except ourselves.
There are instances when total disconnection isn’t possible….
one of those is co-parenting young children with an abusive ex.
I know how incredibly painful this dynamic can be and I applaud you for removing yourself and your children from such a toxic environment.
Know that if you are in this situation, you have the strength to see it through and it won’t last forever.
Kids grow up and have their own voices and your decision to leave that toxic environment has also empowered them.
When a narcissist is unavoidable…like a boss or parent…it’s imperative to have healthy boundaries and establish parameters for the relationship.
Decide what you will and absolutely will NOT tolerate.
Make it clear up front exactly what your boundaries are and when those boundaries are crossed be prepared to enforce them.
Speak up and/or walk away.
Just as NO is a complete sentence….
Silence is a powerful response.
Try to keep any verbal interaction to a minimum.
If possible only communicate through email.
This gives YOU control of how, when and IF you respond.
The best way to communicate with abusive people, regardless of their relationship to you, is in a business like manner.
Keep emotions out of it.
Emotions are their fuel.
Stick to the facts and get it in writing.
It might feel cold and cruel at first, but that’s only because it’s new.
You’ll quickly get used to having healthy boundaries
and wonder how you ever survived without them;)
Protecting our energy is our responsibility.
There are also energetic tools we can use to protect ourselves.
The Maharic Shield is an excellent place to start.
This technique wraps 12th dimensional frequency around and throughout our bodies. Protecting us and healing the holes in our energy fields, from past trauma, that trigger us and act as homing signals to narcissists who will happily come and flip every switch like a professional switchboard operator!
Narcissists are master manipulators…like a magician with a huge bag of tricks…they are masters of illusion…but it’s all smoke and mirrors.
We don’t have to fall victim to the illusions…we can learn to see through them.
Until next time be gentle with yourself and remember, you are so much more than you have allowed yourself to believe.
